Secondary school in Nigeria was everything from manual labour to punishments, and first love. These guys are telling us some of their craziest moments.
When the fence jumping goes spiritual. – Oshomah
Here is one. Been jumping fence to scale morning labour at my hostel everyday (everyday for the thief).
That’s how one day when I was about jumping very early, I started receiving slaps from no where (one day for the owner). At first I thought it was an evil spirit because I never expected it, but when the slaps continued it became very clear who it was.
The house prefect was using my face for table tennis practice. I spent the whole day serving all manners of punishment and being flogged with cutlass and planks from any visiting senior (and the prefect had a lot of friends) while my mates were playing throughout because it was the period after exams when there was nothing to do in school.
The Al-Capone of exam dubs. – Toye
Started an underground exam questions dealing ring with my best friend after the office assistant developed a peverted crush on her. She promised him after exams so he kept feeding us with exam question drafts. We would go to another friend’s mother’s shop to photocopy and redistribute to other students before the day of the exams with solutions. Everything went well. We expanded the business and got more smart hands involved. Until one idiot came into the exam hall with both the exam question draft photocopy and the solutions we had our handwriting on. She was caught and the rest is history. Long story short we nearly died.
Where the puff puff love began. – Steve
My first crush ever. She agreed we go to the toilet together. And she had quite very big boobs. I pressed and squeezed… It must have been a big puff puff. Because now I love puff puff so much.
Everyday for the thief. – Edwin
When I was in JS3, we jumped the fence two weeks before exams started to go eat mangoes at a sugar cane farm. The mango trees were planted to create shade for the irrigated farms and everyone was allowed to pluck and eat the fruit but forbidden from stealing sugarcane. One of our friends decided to steal several sugar canes while we were on the trees, not just any one, the juiciest ones, and the farmer spotted him and called his sons to catch us. They pulled out cutlasses and gave us the longest chase of my life. They chased us for one hour straight, at some point I contemplated jumping into a lake that separated the farm from River Kaduna, my school was on the other side, even though I couldn’t swim then. Eventually we finally out ran them.
Between the devil and the deep blue sea. – Lekan
I was scaling labour hiding in a very tiny store. Then a little snake just crawled into where I was hiding, and my God, I think I’d stay with a lion instead of a snake. I hate snakes. But just as I was about to take off, I peeped and saw our labour prefect patrolling. Boy, I told myself, boy, if you get bitten, you’ll scream for help and get rushed to the sickbay and it will be over with. But if the Labour Prefect gets you, its over mehn. You’re dead. So the snake understood my condition and left me.