Many people think superheroes won’t survive in Nigeria. That Iron man will be unable to charge suit
No light for iron man to invent https://t.co/OTpX2ehZC1
— Eniyan (@_Sasa_A) April 5, 2016
and Superman will find himself trapped in a Nepa pole.
Well, we found a way to get some of them useful. It is Nigeria, so you can’t be entirely useless.
Now let us say they manage to grow up without us killing them because they are witches, we can get these few to do a few things for us.
Since he has so much power and has nothing to do with it, we can just assign him to be merry-go-rounding our turbines and generate sufficient electricity. And that’s just one of like 30 things he can do for us. He’s going to be our Omni-doer.
Hopefully, nobody will tell Superman to run for President. We don’t want anybody trending #BringBackLexLuthor
Batman has a nice car and all, but unfortunately, we can’t have him in this country. He has too much in common with Buhari —stubborn, paranoid, and trusting mostly their instincts. Having two of those in one country would be too difficult to manage.
3. The Flash
Since he’s so fast, his job will be to patrol the pipelines so Femi Adesina can stop complaining about vandals being the reason we don’t have fuel.
4. Wonder Woman
Easy, she’ll go to the one person that despises her the most —Shekau. In fact, she should head the Lafiya dole operation.
This guy has a Nuclear arc reactor that can generate 2000MW. That one alone can help alleviate Fashola’s problems small.
6. Captain America
Sambisa candidate. But then, rumour has it that he has already been in Nigeria before.
She can bring down the temperature and make it snow. At least people won’t be travelling every year because of snow. #BuyNaijaToGrowTheNaira. Lets not forget what she’ll do for our Agric with her rainmaking skills.
Since Aquaman is just a marine spirit, he can just marry the Queen of the Coast and they can born plenty fish together, and maybe the price of fish can reduce.
She’s the only comic book villain here, but she really does get useful sometimes for the good guys, even when she’s stealing most of the time. So to put her to good use, she’s going to be placed on the foreign mission to steal back everything that’s been stolen from us, whether its an artifact or money sitting in Panama.
We already have more than enough hawkgirls for one country.
One more could cause chaos in the skies.
As long as they keep him off the checkpoints and on the battlefield, we are fine. Because you know how terrible a MOPOL slap can be, this slap will be worse.
12. Professor X
If we have a mind-reading Xavier, then maybe Buhari can focus on other pressing issues and stop ‘tighting’ corruption to his chest.