Nigerian Horror Story: Nightmare on Magun street

Friday evenings should be great, but this one is extra boring. Your guys are out of town. Your babe said she’s going for night vigil, and you’re just there, home alone.

Depressed Chris Brown

Then you receive a call from one woman you’ve been ignoring since. You really are not in the mood but you still try to respect yourself.

“I’m bored, and my body is doing me one kain,” she says in that voice you know means ‘gerrovahia’.

“Okay, go and play with your husband now” you say.

And then she says, “My husband has travelled”.

shock phone

‘Your husband has what?’

 

close shave driving

 

Five minutes later, she calls to ask where you are.g

Basketmouth laugh meme

 

You head up to her room and she says, “Oya off cloth.”

 

Jim Carey clothes

 

You start action and the entire neighbourhood starts to panic.

 

earhquake gif

 

And then you climax.

volcanoo

 

Oya, time to stand up, but you’re just like…

dog-stuck-in-toilet-o

 

She’s telling you to stand up, but you can’t.

Pink gif

 

You try and try and try, but nothing.

 

crying man God

 

And then it dawns on you, it is Magun!

 

crying little man

 

By the time you look up, crowd has already gathered at the entrance of the room.

 

staring

 

People are already bringing out camera to snap pictures, so you finally wriggle out and try to escape.

 

paralysed

 

Then the Magun kicks into final gear.

seizure

 

And you just die like fowl. Your family and friends fall into mourning, but guess whose blog is about to explode.

 

Linda

 

So uncle, stay in one place before you’ll end up on Linda Ikeji.

Pete Well

End of.

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