These 19 photos describe what a vibrator vs magun showdown would look like

Four people are in a living room —an uninterested young woman, her Igbo father, the principal of the school she’s currently serving as a corper, and her landlady.

The Igbo man looks at his daughter with worry. Someone placed a curse on her. Confused, he asks?

“What is this thing they call Mango?”

Principal, a frail old man who looks like his body and mind escaped a few hundred Maguns unscathed, stands up to describe.

Magun

Credit: Youtube/Tunde Kelani

That’s a scene from Tunde Kelani’s classic, Thunderbolt (Magun).

Magun is the curse a man places on his wife to act as a firewall when she tries to sleep with another man. It works like a computer anti-virus.

An anti-virus blocks dangerous files that might do the computer any harm. So when any virus approaches, the AV destroys it.shooting

Magun does this to men who approach the vagina. The roots of this curse can be traced to the Yoruba deity, Sango, god of thunder, fire, and vengeance.sango

There have been no rumours, or legends where wives inflicted magun on their husbands. Much sexist.

There is only one magun, but there are different manifestations of its executions. While a man is knacking the woman with the magun plug-in, one of these things happen;

He somersaults three times and dies.

obaflipOr he can just keep crowing till he runs out of crow and dies.

jaw drop

There’s the version where he gets the unquenchable thirst that has him drinking water till he dies. Science calls this water intoxication. How poetic.

Thirst is real

Or that type where they are glued together.

Zuma together

 Science calls this one penis captivus.

So guys, if you really considered learning MJ’s moonwalk, now’s the time.

This brings us to the very important question.

 

A vibrator is that penis you can buy in shops that does not fall asleep after the first round, can go up to one hour, while at the same time touching all the right places, again, and again, and again.

WOman taking notes

Now put a woman with magun and a vibrator in a room, who would come out alive?

Lets-Get-Ready-to-Rumble

In the black corner is our woman with magun lurking somewhere in her insides.

Rhonda

In the pink corner, is our vibrator, floating like a butterfly, ready to sting like a bee.

Vibrator

So lets start with the somersault magun.

Kevin Hart talking to

This should be easy, considering most vibrators somersault for a living. On to the next one.

Next is the crowing magun.

Next gif

Vibrators don’t have vocal chords. But yes, they buzz, they buzz till the battery dies.

ill_be_back_terminator

But another recharge will just put the magun to shame. Next.

The thirsty magun.

Again, vibrators don’t get thirsty and if you think women can get electrocuted, this is very unlikely as most vibrators are made from a plastic material called acrylonitrile butadiene styrene. It is the same material used in making car bumpers. bumper to bumper

The last one, getting stuck in the vagina.

While this is possible in situations where a woman gets careless with a small vibrator and it slips all the way in, this is almost impossible in the magun context, and here’s why.

tinubu wait for it

Sango is the patron saint of magun, and one of the things used to appease him is palm oil, according to Sango worshippers.

Guess what is also oil-based? Lubricants used for vibrators. cheers

So while the man is is trying to trap his wife with magun, his wife is multitasking, pleasing Sango with the oil, and pleasing herself with the good vibes.

So to Mr Magun planter,

DJ Khalid Played Yourself

In conclusion, the vibrator and the woman make it out alive. Win-win.

 Its over

Any questions?

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